Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Choose Life and Blessings and Joy!

When I married Ron in 1968, he attended the Church of Christ twice on Sunday and Wednesday. Though baptized at age thirteen, little did I know he’d never really sought a relationship with Jesus. By early 1974, disillusioned, I filed.

While legally divorced six months—we re-married on our 6th wedding anniversary June 22, 1974—we only lived apart two of those. Shortly after the second nuptials, he met, received, believed, and confessed Jesus as his personal Lord.

Since then, I can’t say it’s been all beautiful with birdies singing and perpetual sun shining—I don't believe marriage ever is—but this I've learned... don't talk to him (your husband) about your concerns of how he acts, talk to Him (your Father) about them.

In a wife's desperation to have her husband be more like Christ, more like he should be (in her humble opinion), she gets in God's way of dealing with him. When I finally GOT this, I was amazed to sit back and see the improvements God made in him...literally. Ron changed so drastically before my eyes…like a miracle!  

So that's my advice, dear ladies...only talk to God about it and then trust Him. He can and will deal with your husband in His perfect time. Though ninety-eight percent of any asked would have said "Ron's wrong", God actually wanted ME to learn His lesson and change my attitudes to be more like Jesus.

I told Him it wasn't fair, too! More than once in our many conversations regarding the man I have truly loved with my whole heart. But once I surrendered and said, "Fine! I want to do it Your way. Please, help me." He moved mightily on my behalf!  

I have a husband now who is more like Christ than any man I've ever known. He isn't perfect, but getting so close! Next month, we will have been together fifty years as we’ve both turned sixty-six. We've never loved each other more.

Recently, when a nurse wheeled me out of the hospital and heard we've been together since age sixteen, she said, "I was listening to y'all, and you can just hear how much you respect and love each other. How much fun y'all have." Ron and I hold hands even riding in the car or walking into Walmart. We are each other's bestie!
  

If you’re struggling precious wife, I encourage you to hang in there and resist those lies from that ol’ wiley devil out to destroy your marriage and steal your joy. YOU do what God instructs in His Word. No matter what he's doing, do not leave your husband…black and white in the Word...even temporarily. 
Submit yourself to him AS UNTO THE LORD.

Rejoice IN THE LORD always! You may not be able to rejoice in your husband at all times, but Christ is always worthy of praise and rejoicing! You get to CHOOSE how you feel. Make up your mind to be full of joy and thankful to God! I love you! :)

Get up and go to church if Hubby isn't against it. If he is, then stay home. I know the Word says forsake not the gathering...but you won't be...your heart IS TO GATHER with them, but you're being submissive as unto the  Lord like the good wife you are!

Believe me, "YOU" cannot be your husband's Holy Spirit. It isn't your job. You're only responsible to do what God says for YOU to do. Right there's worth being thankful and rejoicing!

No one can steal your joy though that’s exactly what the devil is out to do. It’s possible he may be manipulating your husband in his efforts, but only you decide if you will be full of joy (NO MATTER WHAT) or if you give into depression and throw yourself a big pity party. It's your choice.


Choose life and blessings and joy!

Turn away from death, curses, and depression which are not of God. Then YOU will be happy and bright and cheerful no matter what's going on all around you.

16 comments:

  1. Thank you for this beautiful, heart-felt article. I profess that I choose life and joy and blessings!

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    1. Hello Judy, and thank you for your kind words! You've made a good choice, indeed! Hugs and blessings!

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  2. Thank you for sharing this very personal story. It is quite a wonderful testimony of your life and experience and Jesus working out one of the most devastating things two people who love each other and commit that love in marriage can have happen to their relationship. I truly believe that everything you said here is true. We cannot change anyone else, but Jesus can. We must turn to God to know how WE need to change and pray for God, alone, to work on and change our husband or anyone else you are having trouble relating with!

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    1. I've learned that God's ways are never what they SEEM to us! I'm so glad, too, that our Father has such a sense of humor! And ouch! your "or anyone else you are having trouble relating with" stung me! There's this one person....breathe, Caryl. Slow. Steady. Breathe. Well...she's just not nice. (pssst...evil) But I am forced to deal with her on occasion.... See, there's always room for improvemnt and this Grami is not perfect yet! :) Love and hugs, Connie! Blessings and favor!

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  3. Love this! I grew up in the Church of Christ, too, by the way.

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    1. Thanks, Janet! :) I was fine going there instead of my Southern Baptist church so I could spend that time with Ron...and I loved his pastor, too. Paul Faulkner. He married us :) (in the Baptist church so I could have instruments :) Hugs and blessings!

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  4. This is so beautiful, Caryl. Thanks for sharing it with your Heart"wings" sisters. Your testimony will help other young people in many ways. j

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    1. It was one of those things you hear and go...is that really You? That won't be any fun... But I believe He wanted to speak to some young wives who love Him and restore some marriages :) Thank you, dear Joyce for the confirmation :) You are loved by so many and an inspiration to me! :)

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  5. Thanks for sharing this. I'm curious, Caryl, what affect your two-month separation did have on Ron? Perhaps it made him realize some needed adjustments, even if he didn't verbalize them at the time?

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    1. The first month, he was staying at his parents. The next he got an apartment, and I hated that. It looked to me like he was having way too much fun, but he missed me :) No doubt I hurt him filing for the divorce. His mother only thought we were separated and when she found out it had been finalized, she talked us into going to a counselor. Through those 'dates', he started 'courting' me again. We never quit loving each other...I can testify though that there is nothing--No Thing--that God cannot fix and restore to better than brand new! We both made adjustments, negotiated them through the counseling :) The two months fell in the middle of the six. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow. I look back and cannot believe I took a chance on losing him! Second only to God, Ron is my everything :) Hugs and blessings, Gail!

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  6. Tweeted! Too many give up too quickly. :) Sure it's not easy, but I agree w/you. My hubby's my bestie too. :) Love him and Love God. What would I do w/out either?

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    1. Oh thank you, Caroline, for the word of confirmation! Two different people having a relationship without bumps and pitfalls isn't happening! :) Hugs and blessings!

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  7. What a testimony to God's powerful, precious work in a marriage! Thanks for sharing, Caryl, and congratulations on 50 years! Choosing life, joy, and blessings with you!

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    1. Thank you, Eileen and hallelujah! If a wife only sticks with it and trusts God, He rewards her so faithfully! Commitment is a powerful force! Hugs and blessings!

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  8. Lovely post filled with wisdom! Hugs to you Caryl!

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  9. I missed this when you originally posted it. Excellent, EXCELLENT!!! LOVE this!

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